Look y’all,
Let’s start with the obvious fact that whoever decided midterms should be in the middle of the NFL playoffs AND the College football tournament is a menace to society, an overall nuisance, and probably an awful person to have at a party. It’s cruel and unusual punishment that we’re all aware of at this point, and spending an entire article criticizing them would just be stating the obvious and beating a dead horse (plus whatever other metaphors my brain can’t conjure up right now).
That being said, holy moly y’all actually have to lock in. Between the brain rot and the Block Blast, it’s studying season, so here my friends is a comprehensive guide to what you should be grooving with to stay prepared for your tests.
1. First and foremost, if you’re not vibing with that Lofi Girl stream on YouTube, I don’t vibe with you. That single video alone has kept me going from 7th grade to present without fail. She’s cooking up something for some unknown test, and honestly, I mess with it. I throw that video on and nobody hears from me for hours. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just search “Lofi Girl” on YouTube. It’s the first thing to appear. Getting sick of that? Well, literally just click on the channel’s profile because that girl has a chokehold on the Lofi world. Other Lofi creators cower in the face of Lofi Girl and her infinite study session music videos. Actual Linsanity. It’s nothing short of a purgatory of chill beats for endless hours and, honestly, I’m here for it.
2. “Pink noise is the best!” “No, white noise is the best!” How about you shut your uneducated trap up and listen here? If you’re listening to any other noise than brown noise, you’re a psychopath and a weirdo and probably from Pequot House (yeah, we have beef). When I listen to brown noise, I literally feel the fissures in my brain vibing. If you love the sound of TV static and pure nothingness, this one’s for you.
3. What do y’all know about Ethiopian Psychedelic Rock? Honestly, probably not a lot, but once you hear “Wede Harer Guzo” by Hailu Mergia and Dahlak Band (hang with me here), you’ll literally be floating into some unworldly dimension of straight unaltered groove. Oh. My. God. Y’all do not even know how much I mess with these vibes. It’s an adventure of the mind, a journey of the soul. I completely forgot I’m sitting in the library churning this piece out right now. For all I know, I was twisting about in the astral plane of funk. Go listen to that whole album NOW.
4. That song that goes like doo-do-doda-doooo. Yeah, you know that one. I got that on loop for literal hours. Unfortunately, I forgot its name, but if you could Shazam it for me, that would be great.
5. FE!N
And yeah, that’s Alex Renzulli’s comprehensive guide to study music. Give them all a listen and let me know! Of course, if you really can’t study, just give up and go watch some good old CFB.