In the age of artificial intelligence and digital shortcuts, students have discovered a new way to get ahead—one that’s a little furrier than expected. While most are familiar with the occasional rogue rodent scuttling through the halls or spotted in a classroom corner, few realize the true purpose of these so-called “nuisances.” Yes, the rats are real—and they’re here to help with your homework.
Forget ChatGPT. At Fairfield Warde, it’s all about Rat GPT.
Operating from the shadows (and the ceiling tiles), a covert network of highly skilled mice has emerged, offering academic “assistance” to struggling students. Run by the elusive Mickey “Machine Mustang” Mouse, this operation covers everything from essay typing to stealthy Google searches, all in exchange for a modest payment: ten goldfish crackers.
“ChatGPT is too trackable,” ‘Machine Mustang’ squeaked in an exclusive interview. “So we decided to offer an alternative.”
The rodent-run service prides itself on absolute discretion. Instead of typing answers or sending files, the mice drop tiny slips of paper containing requested information from the ceiling. Concerned about leaving a trail? No problem. For just a few chocolate chips, a second rat follows up to devour the evidence—paper trail, gone.
Will the Rat GPT empire expand? That remains to be seen. School officials, however, have allegedly launched a counter-operation to stop the scampering syndicate. Until then, keep your snacks close—and your essays closer.