Warde Senior Lounge Creates Match.com Profile to Try and Find Companionship

After a bad breakup with the student community, the Warde Senior Lounge is ready to get back out there. It has decided that it has had long enough of a break, and it’s time to let love back in. The lounge had recently seen a commercial for Match.com that asked, “Looking for a relationship? Try Match.com for free today! Why wait to meet someone great?” Inspired by this, the lonely Warde Senior Lounge decided to make a profile, and, in the interest of love, is publishing it here for all to see.

Young Common Room

Fairfield, Connecticut, United States

Seeking: Innocent high school companionship

Within: Fairfield Warde High School community

Relationship: Single

Have Kids: Used to 🙁

Want Kids: YES!!!!!!

Body Type: Square

Height: Relatively low ceilings

Faith: Any and all

Smoke: Occasional juul

Drink: NEVER.

In My Own Words: If you don’t know me, I’m passionate about nature, self help, and taking care of others. Some of my mantras include “You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself” and “Breathe. You can do this.” I also love murals. I enjoy the little things in life, like a high spirited game of Guitar Gero or a nice nap.

My favorite show is “Judge Judy,” and if you don’t believe me, please join me for an episode, weekdays at noon. My favorite lunch wave is Wave 2, because it’s usually the busiest. I take pleasure in being surrounded by students, so the larger the grade, the better it is. I’m ready to let people back in, both figuratively and literally.

As it said, the Warde Senior Lounge is ready to open its doors to companionship again. Please help it on it’s journey for love before time runs out.


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