Blur (Satire)

Blur: The Blur is a satirical section of the Warde Focus. This section is for entertainment purposes only. Nothing here is true.

In the age of artificial intelligence and digital shortcuts, students have discovered a new way to get ahead—one that’s a little furrier than expected. While most are familiar with the occasional rogue rodent scuttling through the halls or spotted in a classroom corner, few realize the true purpose of these […]

The Rise of Rat GPT

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The SAT is brutal—some might even call it a traumatic rite of passage. The sharpened number two pencils, the suffocating silence of a gym packed with anxious students, and the well-meaning yet deeply unconvincing counselor speech: “Your score doesn’t define you.” (A comforting thought, until you realize more colleges are […]

The Great SAT Walkout of 2025

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With the new school year comes changes, and this one has rocked Warde to its core. No, not the stricter hall pass legislation—something far more sinister: ratemystudents.com.   You’ve heard of the infamous ratemyteachers.com. Well, this is its student counterpart. Usage skyrocketed once class lists were published. The site features […]

Rate my…Student?

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If you’ve seen our superintendent, Mr. Testani, recently, you’ve likely noticed a man under some serious stress. He’s witnessed something troubling. And if you’re wondering what, well—you’re a part of it.   This fall, grades at Fairfield Warde High School are tanking, and fast. But no, it’s not just senioritis. […]

Fumbling Grades

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The acceptance bell is a newfound tradition for Warde seniors where they ring it to celebrate their most enviable accomplishment: leaving high school. However, in between bouts of senioritis (i.e. when they’re actually in the building), some have decided to ring the bell for what they are actually most proud […]

What Gets You in a Bell-Ringing Mood?

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Imagine waking up one morning, rising along with the sun, feeling a warm breeze run along your face. You feel content, fulfilled, and even…happy? However, once you pick up your phone, you find yourself drowning in messages from friends, classmates, and even random strangers sliding into your DMs. Obviously you’re […]

Confessions of a Warde Mewing Victim

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I’m frustrated. We’ve been in school for months, and yet I still see people not following the proper hallway etiquette. So for everyone who’s being doing it wrong, here is EXACTLY what you should be doing when walking to class to make sure everyone thinks you’re the coolest kid ever. […]

How to Walk (Hallway Edition)

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A spectre is haunting Fairfield—the spectre of hallpasses.    The powers that control all rules and regulations at Fairfield Warde High School exercise their authority upon the common folk of our three houses each and everyday, and while their efforts to create a prosperous union between the three houses is […]

The Hallpass Manifesto

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