I’m frustrated. We’ve been in school for months, and yet I still see people not following the proper hallway etiquette. So for everyone who’s being doing it wrong, here is EXACTLY what you should be doing when walking to class to make sure everyone thinks you’re the coolest kid ever. Trust me, do these five things and everyone will be staring at you with admiration.
1) Walk as slow as possible. People love it when you take your time sauntering down the hallway-especially at 7:29 AM. You’ll seem really sophisticated and philosophical, taking in the scenery of the cement walls around you. People will think you’re so cool they’ll follow right behind you to stay close to your vibe.
2) NEVER walk in a straight line. All Warde students are a community, and no one wants to just walk by themselves in their own space. Take the creative path! Walk crookedly to showcase your personality and you’ll find yourself bumping into so many of your fellow Warde students, spreading a sense of joy that we are all one big happy community.
3) If you’re turning around in the hallway, make sure to swing around as abruptly and sharply as possible to ensure the person behind you gets to see your super-cool backpack and feel the weight of all the binders and books you have. How else are people going to know you’re an absolute academic weapon if it doesn’t smack them in the face?
4) Walk on the left side of the hallway to really stand out. Sure, everyone sticks to the right side for convenience, but you’re not like everybody else. To get everyone’s attention and let them know how quirky you are, walk on the other side! People will think you’re so different and will constantly bump you to let you know how awesome that is.
5) If you’re walking with your friends, make sure you stand shoulder to shoulder so you take up the whole hallway. Think about how cool you’ll look, just like the Plastics in Mean Girls! Nobody will be able to get around you- you’ll be the star of the show, all eyes on you and your friends.
Follow all these tips, and I promise you people will know who you are. You’ll be the coolest kid in school, with everyone staring at you as you walk down the hallway- maybe even making space for you like you’re royalty- it’ll be amazing!