If you’ve seen our superintendent, Mr. Testani, recently, you’ve likely noticed a man under some serious stress. He’s witnessed something troubling. And if you’re wondering what, well—you’re a part of it.   This fall, grades at Fairfield Warde High School are tanking, and fast. But no, it’s not just senioritis. […]

Fumbling Grades   Recently updated !




The acceptance bell is a newfound tradition for Warde seniors where they ring it to celebrate their most enviable accomplishment: leaving high school. However, in between bouts of senioritis (i.e. when they’re actually in the building), some have decided to ring the bell for what they are actually most proud […]

What Gets You in a Bell-Ringing Mood?



Imagine waking up one morning, rising along with the sun, feeling a warm breeze run along your face. You feel content, fulfilled, and even…happy? However, once you pick up your phone, you find yourself drowning in messages from friends, classmates, and even random strangers sliding into your DMs. Obviously you’re […]

Confessions of a Warde Mewing Victim





I’m frustrated. We’ve been in school for months, and yet I still see people not following the proper hallway etiquette. So for everyone who’s being doing it wrong, here is EXACTLY what you should be doing when walking to class to make sure everyone thinks you’re the coolest kid ever. […]

How to Walk (Hallway Edition)



Despite the constant diatribes against the quality of high school cafeteria food, there are a breadth of different quality food options available in the Fairfield Warde High School cafeteria. While this may not seem to be the case when investigating the pizza, it becomes evident when you visit the deli […]

Give it a Chance: The Cafeteria


Dear administrators,    Hear me out.   We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all students are created equal, that they are endowed by their peers with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of passing grades.    Tests are lonely and let’s be […]

Why Friendship Cancels Out Cheating




A spectre is haunting Fairfield—the spectre of hallpasses.    The powers that control all rules and regulations at Fairfield Warde High School exercise their authority upon the common folk of our three houses each and everyday, and while their efforts to create a prosperous union between the three houses is […]

The Hallpass Manifesto



Becoming a senior can be both a very exciting and sometimes daunting part of life. It’s the beginning of the end of your high school career and the part of life where things really start to feel real. Applying to college amidst the first few months of the school year […]

Balancing Senior Year