Classmates of sophomore Christian Murphy observed this past week that he appears to be taking gym class way too seriously. “I mean, it’s like
Freshman Teacher Already Polishing Next Year’s “This Isn’t Middle School” Speech
This September, Spanish 31 teacher Señora Polonio reportedly delivered her best first day speech in years, sources confirmed. “I knew when the instructions I gave
A Modest Proposal: The Two Party System
The American people have a certain melancholy disposition to our primarily two-party system. While some cling to the values of their party like a
Ghosts Reportedly Haunting School After Hours; Actually AMSTUD Students
Recently, Warde has experienced a surge in anonymous online TIPS concerning supposed ghosts haunting the building. These fearful complaints tell tales of ghastly moans,
Logon Servers Conspire Against Fairfield Warde
It a shocking recent report, many of Fairfield Warde High School’s deepest technology secrets were revealed. One of the most significant findings explains why
Paula Fired for Leaving Warde’s Closed Campus
Last Thursday, Security Director Paula was fired for leaving the Fairfield Warde campus. That day, Paula came into school in the morning to make
Music Teacher Surrounded By 27 Microphones Decides to Scream Opening Remarks at Audience Instead
The most recent school concert saw a familiar occurrence in the FWHS music department. While introducing the night’s musical selections, all of the music
Brown Wooden Box Makes Its 40th Musical Debut in “Into the Woods”
Drama students across Warde are frantically preparing for this year’s spring musical, Into the Woods, however stress is high as this year marks an
Editorial: Why Student Protest is so Valuable
There is often a common sentiment expressed by high school students when it comes to making a difference: “Yeah, but what could I actually
#NeverAgain Movement at Fairfield Warde High School
Most of members of the FWHS student body and faculty have heard by now something or other about the #NeverAgain Movement brewing in the