Administrators Raid Library; 64 Underclassmen BUSTED

by Sam Klein and McKenzie Dooly

For decades, underclassmen have been devastated by the crippling mandate of “study hall.” Its basic goal is to minimize the number of students in the library at one time, forcing those unlucky underclassmen to spend their free period in the prison known as study hall.

Side note: if you are assigned into Mr. Flynn’s study hall, consider yourself lucky; many students and teachers, including Mr. Flynn himself, classify his section as AP Study Hall. However, underclassmen can easily manage to make their way into the library during study hall using the famous “I-have-a-pass” loophole.

After years of underclassmen abusing study hall regulations, Mr. Ebling has had enough.

Underclassmen had been wreaking havoc for years in the halls and library of Fairfield Warde without serving justice for their incriminating actions. Mr. Ebling recently rounded up the gang of brute administrators, practically shaking in anger at the audacity of these underclassmen.

Ebling and his gang of administrators burst through the doors of the library, keen on stopping the abuse of “I have a pass.” As soon as the admins were spotted by the underclassmen, hordes of students bolted for the door, yet Ebling screamed, “Underclassmen, FREEZE!” while his posse cornered a large group of sophomores.

64 underclassmen were busted and convicted of “disturbance of the peace of the librarians.” All were given Saturday detentions where they will be serving their time carving the Warde acronym into every exterior brick on the building.

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