Hit with Senioritis, Seniors Begin Planning Senior Skip Month

Fairfield Warde seniors, after being accepted to their top colleges, have decided that there is no more point in coming to school. “I just don’t see the purpose anymore,” Bari Lipper, a senior, remarked. “Obviously we’ve already learned everything if colleges have accepted us already. What good are these last months?”

“My brain has pretty much maxed out at this point…I think the only remedy is no school for the rest of the semester,” says Neel Sikka.

Seniors have decided to “spice things up” from previous years, and instead of having a senior skip day, opt for a new and improved senior skip month. A Facebook poll on the Class of 2018 group showed that a startling 88% of seniors felt that it was no longer essential to attend school on a regular basis. Therefore after April break, seniors will not be returning until May for AP Exams.

One Fairfield Warde senior was reported being transported to school whilst in their bed via a UHaul truck, the laziness growing up until this planned month of no school. “One of the seniors in my Satire class was caught painting eyes onto their eyelids, so they could sleep during class, in peace. However, mid-sleep, their snores sounded like an airplane landing, so that gave it away just a little…” reported Mr. McGarry. 

Despite the teachers being wary of how this skipped month will impact AP scores, students are thrilled. “Senior skip month will be a great way for me to finally reconnect with my roots,” Emily Erikson stated. “I’ll have more time to pursue my hobbies such as watching Netflix for 12 hours straight…I can’t even remember what happened in the finale of The Office.” While this interview was being conducted, a group of seniors were being kicked out of the library for setting up sleeping bags in the quiet reading corner.

Nevertheless, many teachers are just hoping for students to come back after the break, otherwise, there may be too many absences preventing graduation and Warde would have to have two Seniors classes for 2019. When asked about this, the Seniors shrugged, saying “It’s not like Ludlowe students stay in school until the last day since they have their internships. We’re just taking advantage of this opportunity in a different way.”

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