I Forced a Bot to Watch 1000 Hours of WardeTV and Then Write an Episode:


INT. TV STUDIO. (POST-AFTERNOON) DAY.

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT and GIRL WITH GLASSES sit at desk. The desk is clear and square. They are both named the same to make it fair.

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT:

(Loud)

Good morning Fairfield Warde, I’m the name

GIRL WITH GLASSES:

And I am also named.

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT:

And this is-

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT and GIRL WITH GLASSES lean back in their invisible chairs. They point at the camera, the camera doesn’t react.

BOTH:

(One worded monk chant)

WardeTV

The TV STUDIO is quiet and hot and yellow. Anchors continue saying the words, their job is not over yet.

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT:

Have you seen how much our Sewing Club has raised for the book drive?

GIRL WITH GLASSES nods but does not answer. She does not know.

GIRL WITH GLASSES:

I know!

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT:

A LOT.

GIRL WITH GLASSES:

Good job to those who involved.

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT and GIRL WITH GLASSES slap hands. They have already slapped hands more than four times. They look sad.

GIRL WITH GLASSES:

In more news, there was a sport event this past Sunday.

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT:

We participated in the good game and now we have small statue.

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT looks down at desk, he is part of team sport, he knows how the game is lost. GIRL WITH GLASSES stares into center.

GIRL WITH GLASSES:

(Deeply sad)

Well that is all the time we have-

She is lying. There is more time to say goodbye.

GUY WITH COLLARED SHIRT:

Thank you for watching

They both laugh and slap hands again, the snaps are together.

BOTH:

See you next, on WardeTV

OFF-CAMERA GHOST:

Cutting.

THE OFF-CAMERA GHOST haunts by slowly. They wiggle the camcorder and words scroll over THE ANCHORS. They are stuck in the green word jail. The episode is over.

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