Logon Servers Conspire Against Fairfield Warde

It a shocking recent report, many of Fairfield Warde High School’s deepest technology secrets were revealed. One of the most significant findings explains why there never seem to be enough logon servers available at one time to support a single class.

Apparently, Warde’s logon servers hold daily meetings to ensure that there are just enough of them available to frustrate students and teachers, as well as delay productivity.

When, for example, an English class comes to the computer lab to work on a writing assignment, the logon servers have already ensured that not nearly enough of them are available to support all of the students.

Then, at least one student will waste ten minutes struggling to log on to a computer, but lately the log on servers have become more dedicated to their agenda of unavailability, frequently only allowing 20% of a given class to be logged on to a computer at a time.

Students and teachers have noticed this issue for a while, and after the recent WiFi story published by the Focus, have hoped for a change. However, some believe that the servers also saw the article and were furious, now getting back at the students with further conspiracies regarding slow internet, not being able to access Infinite Campus, nor login for standardized NGSS testing.

This finding adds an entirely new layer to Warde’s slew of internet issues, revealing that Warde’s internet regularly conspires against the student and faculty. Rumor has it that the recent lack of Internet connection in Fitts House is due to the WiFi’s increased frustration that everyone complains about it, and that it also cannot even be used by students to access their favorite apps.

Both the WiFi and logon servers declined to comment on the topic, and students refused as well out of the fear that the servers will see the frustration and only further complicate the technology situation at Fairfield Warde. 

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