Paula Fired for Leaving Warde’s Closed Campus

Last Thursday, Security Director Paula was fired for leaving the Fairfield Warde campus.

That day, Paula came into school in the morning to make sure all the doors were locked after students arrived at the usual time. During lunch wave 1, security camera footage shows her looking through her purse for her Chobani yogurt, only to realize that she had left it at home.

Desperate for some nutrition and not wanting the sugar that the yogurt parfait in the cafeteria had, she went against Warde protocol and ordered UberEats. She walked out of the building at 11:45 when her UberEats arrived at the main entrance to pick up her food, intending to return through the front doors of the school.

However, before leaving the campus, Paula forgot to sign out and left her I.D. at her desk. Locked out, Paula knocked on a door and asked 12th grader Thomas Lingle to open the door for her.

“I know I’m not supposed to open doors for people, said Lingle, “but c’mon, it’s Paula, everybody knows her.”

Witnessing the incident, Mr. Seganos gave Thomas three consecutive Saturday detentions for opening the door.

“We can’t trust anybody, not even Paula, said Seganos. “Safety has to be our top protocol.”

Punished and hungry, Paula cleaned out her desk, leaving Warde with no security director. As for the future, Deans believe that the locked doors will provide enough security to keep students from leaving the campus while they search for Paula’s replacement.

Any person with interest in applying and interviewing for the position should be sure to contact one of the deans, Mr. Ebling, or Ms. Campbell.

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