Now that the Jonas Brothers are back together, I have to get something off of my chest. This revelation has haunted me since 2006. It has to do with one of the band’s earlier songs “Year 3000”. This song is obviously a bop. A jam, even. But here’s the thing. […]
Emily Green
For a school year full of changes here at Fairfield Warde, one thing has remained constant, inspiring our staff and showing strength for our students: that traffic cone on the solar panels. Despite rain, snow, ice, and wind, that little orange cone has avoided sliding off the angled panels near […]
Cone on Solar Panels Barely Hanging in There, Just Like ...
This past Friday, an unfortunate tragedy took place at Fairfield Warde High School. It is a scene far too many students are familiar with, and an issue few teachers fully understand. During his third period AP Literature class, beloved teacher Mr. Frattaroli was bested by YouTube Autoplay, a well-documented enemy […]
Yet Another Teacher Bested by YouTube Autoplay
An 11th grade student at Warde is trapped in a familiar situation. For the past month and a half, Luis has been convincing himself that once the current week ends, things will calm down. “It’s been ‘just get through this week’, but every week,” Luis told the author. Taking the […]
Junior Tells Self “Just Get Through This Week” for Tenth ...
Ever wonder why the instrument closet in the orchestra room is always -20 degrees, while some classrooms in Pequot are kept at a steady 77? After months of investigating, Warde Focus has finally figured out why every room in Warde is a significantly different temperature. Because Warde does not have […]
Temperatures of Warde Classrooms Selected By Spinning Wheel
After years of students being forced to go to the monotonous, dull holiday music event known as “Carillon,” it has finally been discontinued. While a handful of students expressed disappointment that they would not be able to miss parts of class next Friday, the overall reaction was relief. According to […]
Carillon Cancelled
Warde’s pride and joy has often been misconstrued; while many would think that it’s the excellent athletic and artistic achievements, dedicated staff, or impeccable WiFi, in fact, it is the acronym that the school is most proud of. “Ludlowe’s acronym is complete trash compared to ours,” stated Ethan Larkin, “I […]
Concerning Number of Warde Students Don’t Know Acronym
In an intense game, Warde field hockey won against Ludlowe with a score of 2-0. Warde made up for a tough loss last year and after Tuesday, the team has defeated Ludlowe three out of the past four years. Newcomer Coach Strauser is the team’s third coach in three years, […]
Warde Field Hockey Defeats Ludlowe, On Road to FCIACs
Classmates of sophomore Christian Murphy observed this past week that he appears to be taking gym class way too seriously. “I mean, it’s like he thinks its the Olympics or something. And he’s average at best anyway,” says classmate Elizabeth. Murphy yelled about rules, celebrated obnoxiously whenever he scored, and […]
Local Teen a Little Too Hype for Gym Class
This September, Spanish 31 teacher Señora Polonio reportedly delivered her best first day speech in years, sources confirmed. “I knew when the instructions I gave in Spanish were just met with blank stares that it was going to be a great year,” she said. “I am already planning for next year.” […]
Freshman Teacher Already Polishing Next Year’s “This Isn’t Middle School” ...
It a shocking recent report, many of Fairfield Warde High School’s deepest technology secrets were revealed. One of the most significant findings explains why there never seem to be enough logon servers available at one time to support a single class. Apparently, Warde’s logon servers hold daily meetings to ensure […]
Logon Servers Conspire Against Fairfield Warde
I want to end things with my girlfriend. What’s the least painful way to do so? I’ve personally never broken up with someone, but trust me, I’m an expert. Some of the most foolproof options are: Have your mom email her mom. Say it with a song; ideally “I Gotta […]
Ask an Amateur
After a long, harrowing first year of high school, sources confirmed last week that Fairfield Warde freshman Nick Grillo has diagnosed himself with senioritis. “Ugh, I think I have senioritis,” groaned the fourteen-year-old to his stand partner in concert orchestra upon remembering that he had to memorize a two octave C […]
Local Freshman Self-Diagnosed With Senioritis
With just a few weeks left in the calendar year, one question has been coming up again and again: was 2016 the worst year ever? Some optimists have attempted to point out other bad years in the history of humankind, but 2016 just has it all. For example, the unrelenting […]