Concerning Number of Warde Students Don’t Know Acronym

Warde’s pride and joy has often been misconstrued; while many would think that it’s the excellent athletic and artistic achievements, dedicated staff, or impeccable WiFi, in fact, it is the acronym that the school is most proud of.

“Ludlowe’s acronym is complete trash compared to ours,” stated Ethan Larkin, “I mean, they chose FALCONS as their letters, but that is just as long as Ludlowe. It doesn’t even make sense.”

Despite this pride, there has been a dilemma. According to a recent survey by Warde TV, a concerning percentage of Warde students are completely clueless about their own school acronym. Nearly a third of those surveyed thought that the “W” in “Warde” stood for “Warde”. A popular guess for “A” was “A school”. The most commonly given answer for “R” was “Really good”, followed closely by “Really smart”. One student, showing little to no understanding of what an acronym is, even answered “Mustangs” for “R”.

“This is a deeply concerning discovery,” said Headmaster Mr. Ebling. “Our acronym is very important to us, and we try to exemplify those words every day here. These findings show that we need to focus on the “A” for “paying Attention”.” A nearby teacher pointed out that “A” does not stand for “paying Attention”, but she could not recall the correct word. 

If this study has taught us anything as a school, it’s that we need to focus on the “E” in Warde, “E”, for… [what does the E stand for again?]… “E” for… excellent? No, that sounds wrong. Effort? No it was definitely a different word… oh well, it’s not like anyone else knows it.

For any students or staff interested in learning the acronym in a safe, friendly environment, there will be remedial Warde Pride classes taught after school by Mr. Ebling himself.

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