All School Assembly Introduction: A New Play


The lights come up on a blank stage, all is dark but a single spotlight pointed at the leading player, MR. EBLING. He is dressed in a formal suit with a 13″ top hat. He carries a wooden cane with an eagle engraved on the handle. He steps forward and addresses the audience.


(Dripping with theatrics)

Good morning students! We gather you all here today for another one of our dynamic days here at Warde.

On the word “dynamic”, two students dressed in head-to-toe sequins appear with confetti cannons. They shoot red, black, and white confetti into the crowd. The crowd cheers.


Now, we wouldn’t be gathering you here if it weren’t for something very important.

MR. EBLING pauses with anticipation. The choir appears from the wings behind MR. EBLING and begin to hum Chopin’s Piano Concerto No. 1 in E Minor. They begin to file into the aisles of the auditorium.


So today… I am pleased to present to you…

Suddenly, the projector screen begins to descend from the ceiling along with the Warde Dance Team performing an aerial silk routine.

When the projector screen is completely down, the video begins to play. Sparks rain down from the ceiling.


This informational video!

MR. EBLING throws his hands in the air prompting the audience to break into a wave.

The video begins to play, suddenly a pop-up notification appears on the screen. It says “Computer Will Shut Down in 5…4…3…2…1…”

The computer shuts down, the sparks cease and the choir exits the auditorium. The audience waits a full 20 minutes for the computer to reboot.


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